this shall be my last outburst.
from this day forth, i swear i'll be stronger.
thanks jiajia for the roses.
i really, really appreciate it.
minmin loves you :)
(note: the followin may not interest any audiences)
love started in 2004. it was our passion for serving our Father and our love for kids that brought us together. you were the only retard who will walk with me from toapayoh to yiochukang, takin photos and resting at busstops. i made my first cheesecake for you, but you didnt finish it. i made every excuse to go out with you, from visitin gigs to dinner.
things didnt go well. i cried everynight. friends were talkin abt you and you were at the lowest in your life. i sent you a song to cheer you up, without realisin that im already in love with you. we had our first disagreement, and you bought me roses just to say sorry. i wanted to give you up as there were more girls crazy over you. yet, i wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself.
finally, at a busstop, you didnt let me go home, and thats when our journey began. the first month was the sweetest - many roses, many kisses, many bear hugs, abundant love. sentosa, underwater world, planned manicure and pedicure, fabulous dinner - a first month anniversary and my first ever valentine with someone i truly loved.
gave you a doggy - scratchy, hopin that it'll be like a pet of ours. you always gave me whatever i wanted, puma jacket, roses, chocolates, heffalump set, chipmunks. you even gave me liang teh whenever im sick. you caught a pair of stitch for me, just because i wanted it. malacca was so much fun, shoppin and room service all night long. sweet bubble baths. i lost our couple ring, i cried but you didnt scold me. instead, you bought me a new one.
a precious moment musical ball. i still listen to it everynight. i hated you for being violent and egoistic. you hated me for being sarcastic, demanding, and unreasonable. we quarrelled and forgave each other many times. we suggested break-up for more than a million times. you told me this, "amos says nothing is forever, yet i choose to believe that you and i would have forever." now all i see is lies.
things got worse, we eventually went our own ways. i had to tell you that i no longer loved you. i had to see your negative traits then to let our memories hold us strong. i let you go. you cried, i cried. we struggled. and now, after 2 months, you finally moved on. like the wise one said, its a blessing in disguise! oh wells. im sure she'll make you happier, for i see that you guys share the same passion for singing.
today, i officially let you go. im taking back all the "fuck-yous" i said. im not holdin you back any further. you never see the tears i shed after you left. i held a brave front, i told myself i hated you. and the only reason is that i want you to find someone better. i cant take myself hurtin you all the time. sure, that slap you gave me was a painful one. and now you finally found someone better, someone who will love you more than i did, please. just love her more than you ever loved me.
why does it hurt so much? its just my pride and ego that has been bruised. and simply because, you were my first love, and i thought you were my eternity, my love, my world and my everything. thank you for that journey. thank you for lettin me see another side of you. thank you for lettin me realise that men never mean it when they say "forever". treat her good.
my fairy tale has ended.
time to move on to another chapter.
now, stop asking me alright.
the truth is out.
i just want the pain to go away, once and for all.